Bill and Hillary are laying in bed and she looks over at Bill and asks him:
Bill..have you ever cheated on me?
He confesses that he has on a few occasions but that when he did, he put a beer can in a shoe box under the bed. She reaches under the bed and pulls out the shoe box. In the box are three beer cans and $1200 in cash. She seems overjoyed that he has only cheated on her three times in all of the years they've been together. Then she asks him why the cash is in the box.
I couldn't fit all those beer cans under the bed, so I recycled them!
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Joke of The Day 2
Obama, Hillary and Trump are walking down the beach when they stumble upon a magic genie lamp. Obama rubs the lamp and a genie pops out. The genie grants them each a wish...
Obama thinks for a minute and says: " I want all my Communist, Democrat friends to go with me back to our homeland of Cuba" and POOF...he's gone!
Hillary thinks for a minute and says: "I want all of my Socialist friends and the rest of the Democrats to go back to our homeland of Russia" and POOF...she's gone.
Trump looks at the genie and says, "You mean ALL of the liberals are gone?"
The genie nods yes.
Trump replies, "Hell...I'll just have a Coke."
10 Reasons Why Trump Would Be a Better president Than Hillary
1. Which 1st lady do you want to see making cookies?
2. Trump has Chuck Norris as an endorsement.
3. We would finally get to nuke something besides Japan.
4. Trump's hair is way cooler.
5. Trump can pee standing up. So can Hillary...
6. Trump rhymes with hump. Clintoris is pretty cool but...
7. Hillary has Cankles.
8. Trump as huge hands!
9. Trump has his name on his plane.
10. Trump loves America...Hillary loves Hillary.
Trump and Nukes
Here's what Trump (Peace Be Unto Him) thinks about the media and their hysteria about his possible use of nukes against our enemies...
As Mr. Gump would say: "I guess that's about all the shrimp they is!"
What Are The Odds?
This Kid just survived his third terror attack. My advice...stay away from this dude.
While the family can rest assured that Mason is alive and well, this is a situation they're all too familiar with. In a separate interview with ABC, Chad revealed that this isn't his son's first brush with terrorism.
As he told the network that his son was present during both the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings and last year's Paris attacks that killed 129 and injured 352, Kymberly added Mason had been "calm and composed" in the past.
"This is his third terrorist attack," Chad continued. "This is the third time that sadly in our society that we have a connection to a bomb blast. We live in a dangerous world and not everyone is kind and loving."
Mason, who is a Mormon missionary from Utah, was at the airport along with two other men – Richard Norby, 66, and Josephy Empey, 20 – to send off their fellow missionary Sister Fanny Rachel Clain, 20, from France, who was departing for an assignment in Ohio. She was not injured.
Suspected Terrorist Number Three
I think the government agencies have this all wrong. Look at the picture:
The two suspects on the left are dead. The one on the right is still being pursued. They will never catch him because I theorize that HE is a SHE. Notice the obvious disguise. Small hands...even smaller than Marco Rubio's hands. Multiple layers of clothing to hide the breasts. Now look at the picture in a bigger size:
The two suspects on the left are dead. The one on the right is still being pursued. They will never catch him because I theorize that HE is a SHE. Notice the obvious disguise. Small hands...even smaller than Marco Rubio's hands. Multiple layers of clothing to hide the breasts. Now look at the picture in a bigger size:
She looks like Bert from Sesame Street. Might even be Casey Affleck. Are is it Marco Rubio? Not even a hipster would look this douchey on purpose.
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